Thursday, July 28, 2011

The Night I Thought Zombies Were Real

About a year ago, I was friends with a very, very paranoid girl named Ashley. This was the kind of girl who thought that every man who likes boobies likes rape and was scared when we left our door unlocked at 10am. Needless to say, tricking her was very easy, and the reaction was always more severe than you could hope for. 

Couple this with the Swine Flu outbreak, and you've got hilarity.

My fondest memory with Ashley was one night when she was sleeping over in the midst of the Swine Flu scare. She had let everyone make her good and terrified of Swine Flu to the point where she thought she, a perfectly healthy teenage girl, could die from it. She and my boyfriend were over at the time that a good friend of ours , Jasmine, sent us a link to a joke article about a fake string of H1N1 called N1Z1. I haven't been able to find the article (I think it was deleted), but it was basically about a string of H1N1 that temporarily reanimated the people that died from the disease, making them extremely violent and dangerous for a couple hours, after which they died for good. In hindsight, there should have been no conceivable way we could have believed it, but I'm a very gullible person and my boyfriend wanted it to be real so badly. He and I both thought "Whatever, it's not like they last for very long. I hope they put videos online!" and actually kind of enjoyed how bizarre it was.

Ashley however, freaked the fuck out. She thought that this was the beginning of the end of the world that the Bible had predicted (she's very religious). She cried and talked to her mother on the phone for hours while my sister comforted her over it. She thought we were all going to die and that the world was going to be engulfed in fiery death. She notified Jasmine about our impending doom, to which Jasmine replied:

"Wait, you guys actually thought that was true?"

This was the moment where it dawned upon us: The article was fake. N1Z1 was fake. The URL started with "bounce with me." The boyfriend met this with mild disappointment, I was indifferent, and Ashley was absolutely enraged. She had been duped, lied to, tricked, the whole nine yards. She had made a fool of herself and as far as she was concerned, we had no reason to believe that it was fake, and Jasmine was a very cruel person for not clarifying this. She had committed a great sin. 

And then a half a year later she decided to hate both me and Jasmine and hasn't spoken a word of kindness to either of us since. But that's a story for another day! 

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